I consider myself mildly anti-social. I think often that comes with heroin use, or maybe it’s the other way around.
No, definitely comes with heroin use.
It even gets to the point where making phone calls is a stressful activity.
But I really want to just start from the beginning.
Becoming An Addict
There isn’t just one set date and and time that I can point to and say, “there it is, that’s the time I became a drug addict.” It was a very slow process that took over my life completely.
Did it start with Marijuana? Drinking at 14 years old? Were those contributors? I always think so.
But the big addictions sneak up on you. My dad used to always tell me stories about the snake and the rat. The snake doesn’t just chase the rat down, it moves slowly, letting the rat get accustomed to the snake. Then it moves a little closer. And a little closer. And a little closer.
Then snap! The snake cranks forward and that’s the end of the rat.
That’s what heroin was like.
I always thought it would be as easy to stop using as it was to start. I mean, I only used it once in a while, nothing crazy.
But slower and slower, I began using it more and more often. Eventually it became a lifestyle.
Bottom of the Barrel
Even though I can’t really pinpoint one specific time where I became and addict, I can definitely pinpoint the time when I was truly addicted, the worst experience of my life.
For me, it was trying to get off of heroin. I had no money, I was working 40 hours a week, barely, at my job.
I was on the phone all day. But my work ethic had faded slowly to almost being non-existent. I hated being around people when I wasn’t on the up, and being on pills at work makes you just want to be at home.
My family was starting to see me withdraw, I was fighting with my parents more than I ever had before. It was really pure hell.
My life was really deteriorating. So, with my parents help, I went into a local rehab facility.
Long story short, it sucked, I stopped using for a month, and I got back on the heroin shortly after that. Withdrawal sucks, my hat goes off to those who can quit cold turkey like that and stay clean.
Finding Ibogaine University
One thing led to another and I remember hearing a friend talk about Ibogaine. I had never heard of Ibogaine before, and I was not new to the world of psychedelics.
I’ll skip past my aggravation with modern day medicine, but suffice it to say I was surprised that I had never heard of something like Ibogaine: something that could potentially cure a heroin addiction.
So I started to research it. Wow. What I found was pretty shocking. On the one side, you have all these people and stories about heroin and other drug addicts become completely sober after a few days at a clinic, on the other hand you hear doctors saying it’s dangerous, nonsense, and death can occur.
Well, if you know anything about heroin, you probably know death is always around the corner for an addict.
Well I had to talk to someone, and that’s when I found Charles.
Charles Johnston ran Ibogaine University, one of the few Ibogaine clinics I called (even with my anxiety for making phone calls). I don’t know, I realized while studying and talking with Charles that the risk, although it is there, is a lot lower when a medical doctor can screen you and give you the treatment.
So I began to feel pretty comfortable with the idea, and once again, my parents took a chance on rehabilitation for their daughter, and I am grateful for it.
Ibogaine Was My Salvation
The days leading up to leaving for Ibogaine University were a blur. Once I got down to San Diego Charles took me across the border with 1 other guy who I didn’t know at the time.
I was really expecting to be in the slums. I mean Mexico, right? I didn’t expect it to be a paradise.
But actually it was really nice. I mean resort nice. And the people were really nice too. I felt immediately comfortable.
Not only that, but it was nice to be around some people who were ALREADY DONE with their Ibogaine treatment. Everyone was really comfortable around each other and very open, people a lot like me.
I may have social anxiety, but I’ve always been very open about my personal life.
And Charles is a text book. He knew everything and more about Ibogaine, which was really nice because I constantly had questions coming up.
Then, it was time for me to be treated.
I don’t want to get into my experience here, I plan to write an entire blog post (or book) on my actual Ibogaine experience. It was long, tiring, and exactly what I needed.
It’s been 4 months to the day and I’m here, alive, and sober. I have never been happier.
Ibogaine University and Ibogaine both changed my life. I will never be the same. I will never go back to heroin or pills (even if my leg gets ripped off in a car accident I tell myself).
Being addicted to heroin ruined my life. Ibogaine saved it. I am making money, living in my own apartment, and moving towards being a very successful college graduate. I couldn’t have done it on my own, no one should have to.